Oh, the holidays. ‘Tis the season of craziness. I blame them for my shoddy blog performance as of late. I promise to be better once the New Year rolls around. Right now I’m having trouble focusing for more than 2.5 seconds.

I wanted to take a moment to say that in just a few days, I will have been sober for three months. Three months! So far it has been pretty smooth. I would say the holiday season is the hardest it’s been yet, but definitely still manageable.

For example, my work party. I walked in to this.

How did this chick not pass out?

Yes, you are seeing that correctly. That is indeed a woman in a bodysuit, hanging upside down and pouring drinks. Now who wouldn’t want that lady to pour them a nice cocktail?

Also, let’s face it. I always feel socially awkward at big parties, especially work parties. A little upside-down drink  would have helped me feel more comfortable. But instead, I snacked on some appetizers, chatted for a few minutes and rolled out before the dance floor started going strong. Did I feel lame? A little. Maybe in time I will learn how to not drink and still have a killer time at these functions, but I’m not there yet. And I’m okay with that.

Thanksgiving, on the other hand, was less of a problem. First of all, only four out of the twelve people at my house were drinking, so being in the majority made it easier. Secondly, since I wasn’t guzzling wine before dinner, I found that I wasn’t as full after my huge meal as I usually am. I didn’t have to change into sweatpants or lay on the floor. Score! Plus, I was just so happy to be spending time with my mom and the rest of my fam, that alcohol was pretty far from the forefront of my mind.

I still don’t feel any of the drastic changes people describe after giving up the sauce. My energy level is the same. I still have trouble getting out of bed and being productive on the weekends (case in point, I am writing this blog post from bed on a Sunday morning). But I do feel healthier. It’s a subtle thing, for sure. But overall, I feel more balanced, both physically and mentally. I also feel like I have more control over my thoughts and actions (in a good way—not a calorie counting, borderline eating disorder way).

That said, I saw a Jameson ad on Facebook the other day and got all nostalgic. That was my shot of choice, as well a major bonding activity with my best girl, Jill. So I’m still glad this whole abstaining thing isn’t permanent. But who knows, maybe when I do start drinking again, I’ll be able to just have a glass of wine or two with dinner and not feel the need to keep going until the bottle is sucked dry.

A girl can dream, right?

A Wino’s Farewell to Wine

I love wine.

I love the taste, the smell, the way it makes me feel. I love wineries, wine bars and wine menus at restaurants. I love it all. I even like wine in boxes.

But I’m giving it up. For now.

Last night I made the (very difficult) decision to kick alcohol to the curb until I get pregnant.

A few factors spurred this decision. First, there are some studies linking alcohol to decreased fertility. I didn’t pay any mind to these studies when I first read about them. There are other studies out there saying alcohol while trying to conceive is No Big Deal. Indeed, many of my dearest friends were 100% tipsy when they got pregnant. Alcohol does not seem to mess with the average gal’s fertility much, so why should I worry about it?

Because when it comes down to it, I’m not the average gal trying to get pregnant. Even though I’ve had a couple periods since I’ve started upping my fat intake, they’re still not super regular and I’m ovulating way late in my cycle.

Second, I’ve been doing (and blogging about) so many things to make myself healthier these last few months, that ditching the sauce seems like the next logical step in the process. One thing has been naturally leading to the next as I’ve been slowly, but surely, building a healthier me.

And finally, I’m willing to go to great lengths to get pregnant, if necessary. I’d try Clomid, I’d inject myself with drugs and, yes, I would do IVF, the final frontier. Hopefully I won’t have to do those things, but that’s beside the point. If I’m willing to do all of those things, then why shouldn’t I be willing to try giving up alcohol first? It’s certainly more natural and less invasive than the things mentioned above. Plus, those medications, etc., are so expensive that I’d feel like I was wasting my time and money if I wasn’t as healthy as possible before I even thought about trying them.

Bottom line: it just feels like the right thing to do right now. I’ve written a lot recently about listening to the needs of my body and paying attention to my inner voice. And right now my inner voice is pretty much screaming at me about this.

But it is not going to be easy. Drinking is so much a part of my relationships and activities that I think I’m going to feel lost without it. After an emotional day, I could always uncork a bottle. When I was bored? Another bottle. Oh and let’s not forget celebrations. That’s at least two bottles.

It’s going to be totally weird for me to navigate all of that without my trusty elixir.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I need your support. Even if you just post a comment on this blog or say something supportive to me in passing, it would really help a lot.

I’m not going to give up alcohol forever. Oh hell no. But for now, I must make the following goodbyes. Because it’s not just my beloved wine that’s got to go, it’s everything:

Goodbye, beer sampler...
Goodbye, Guinness...
Goodbye, car bombs. Godspeed.