Confessions of a Pregnant Blogger

Wanna know why this blog has been so infrequent and lackluster lately?

It’s because I am a horrible liar. Always have been.

The truth is, I am 14 weeks pregnant!

I didn’t feel comfortable sharing the news until we heard a heartbeat (which we did on Wednesday: amazing!), hence the slew of random, totally-non-fertility-related blog posts. It definitely felt weird not to share it with you guys right away, since I’ve shared every step with you up until this point.

But holy crap, can you believe it? I kind of still can’t. Every day I am amazed that I got this lucky. Everything I’ve been wishing and praying for: granted. I feel elated and blessed and terrified all at once.

Since I posted about my last visit with the doctor, you’re probably wondering how the pregnancy happened and if I went the fertility treatment route. The crazy thing is, when I wrote that post, I was actually pregnant but didn’t know it yet. In an amazing turn of events, I never had to make a decision about whether or not to try fertility treatments. The decision was made for me by the tiny baby I am now carrying. I am still in disbelief that it turned out this way. And I am grateful every single day.

Thank you all so much for your support on my babymaking journey. I appreciate it more than I could ever say. Seriously, you guys are awesome. I hope you will stick with me on the next phase of my story.

And if you are still in the babymaking trenches, please know that I understand if you want to step away from this blog for a while. But also please know that I am thinking about you and caring for you and hurting with you and most of all, hoping for you. Fervently. Even if you stop reading, I will not stop praying for you and fighting for you.

How am I feeling? Physically, much better. I had some decent bouts of nausea for a while there, but they seem to be subsiding. How am I feeling mentally? Well, that’s a different story. You all know I struggle with anxiety, so this pregnancy has been one of my biggest challenges yet. I am trying hard to appreciate each day and not worry about the future and all of the things that could go wrong. But let me tell you, it has been a struggle. I often find myself thinking, “How could this wonderful thing possibly be real? How can it last?”

So as a big eff-you to anxiety, I’d like to end this post with a quote from my favorite movie of all time, Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory:

Willy Wonka: “Charlie, don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.”

Charlie: “What happened?”

Willy Wonka: “He lived happily ever after.”