Like, So Whatever

Oh hai.

I’ve started approximately 16 posts in the last two weeks, but I keep stalling out after a few paragraphs. So I figured I’d come on here and give a quick update.

After 7 weeks, my hCG is finally under 5. Woo.

I haven’t actually spoken to my doctor about the baby aspirin and Lovenox yet, but I did get a brief email from her saying that she’s on board with the hematologist’s recommendation. Despite the fact that I still have a million unanswered questions,  I’m relieved to know that she’s on team Blood Thinners.  I’m going to book an appointment with her after my hysteroscopy to go over everything.

Once my next cycle starts, I will finally get the aforementioned hysteroscopy. If all looks good there, I can proceed with IVF the cycle after that.

Ok, this post is so boring that I’m falling asleep writing it. My eyes are actually drooping for real. Yawn. Sorry, dudes.

I’m glad there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m really just feeling whatever about it all. I’m not doing so hot these days. I have good moments, even some great ones, but overall I just feel sad. I’m doing all the right things — therapy, yoga and I’ve even started attending an infertility support group — but I think no matter what you do or how hard you work, life is just going to have some rough patches.

And this is one of them.

Antiphospholipid Syndrome

How’s that for a sexy title?

First of all, thank you to everyone who threw some extra love my way after my last post. I truly needed it. This was a rough week, but your kind words helped my heart hurt a little less.

Second of all, I mentioned offhand in the last post that all of the blood tests for my recurrent miscarriage panel were normal. Well, apparently that’s not true.

Some backstory: I had few tests done in December, right after I found out the baby wouldn’t make it. One of these was a test for something called anticardiolipin antibodies. The short explanation is that these antibodies can cause blood clotting issues.

The anticardiolipin test came back “slightly elevated,” but my doctor said that could just be because I was still pregnant.

So I had the test repeated a few weeks later. It was still elevated. At that point, my doctor referred me to a hematologist for further testing. The nurse I spoke to told me that my doctor “wasn’t that concerned about it,” but wanted me to go as a precaution.

I saw the hematologist on the last day of January. He drew a bunch o’ blood, and a little over a week later, his nurse called and told me the labs were all normal.

Apparently she was just kidding about that, because the evening after I wrote my last post, the hematologist himself called and left me a voicemail. It said:

“All of your labs were normal except for the anticardiolipin antibody, which was high. This is part of Antiphospholipid Antibody syndrome. I think you should go ahead and take baby aspirin with low-dose Lovenox the next time you get pregnant. Nothing to worry about—this just helps us plan better for the next time.”

He of course was not in the office on Friday, so I can’t talk to him until Monday. And my own doctor didn’t have the report yet, so I couldn’t talk to her about it either.

So right now I am just trying to do some research to figure out what the heck this all means. Here’s a definition below from the Mayo Clinic, in case, like me, you’ve never heard of this syndrome before:

“Antiphospholipid syndrome occurs when your immune system mistakenly attacks some of the normal proteins in your blood. Antiphospholipid syndrome can cause blood clots to form within your arteries or veins. It can also cause pregnancy complications, such as miscarriage and stillbirth.”

This condition is often treated with blood thinners, which is what the hematologist recommended in his message.

My actual number on the last test was 96. Apparently anything below 13 is normal. Anything above 80 is strongly positive. I don’t know what my numbers were on the two draws before this one, but I find it weird that they were only “slightly elevated” and my doctor was “not that concerned,” when this one was so clearly high.

Meh. I’ve got more questions than answers at this point.

If anyone has this syndrome or has any information about it, I am all ears! My friend over at Spirit Baby Come Home sent me some helpful links, but most of the other stuff I’m finding online is just broad overviews.

I don’t want to get too ahead of myself before I know more, but could this be the reason for my miscarriages? Could this even be the reason for our infertility? Some of the things I’ve read said that this syndrome messes with implantation, so in that way it can cause infertility.

Could this really have been our problem all along?