Letter To My Littlest Love: Thank You

WinnieOneWeek Dear Winnie,

You’ve been on this earth for 13 whole days. In that time, you’ve been nursing around the clock, so I haven’t had much time to write you this letter. I am not complaining. I could stare at your face forever. Seriously forever.

Things haven’t been perfect. You’re having feeding issues, your dad and I are exhausted, I’m a weepy hormonal mess and blah, blah, blah. Things haven’t been perfect, no–but they’ve certainly been wonderful. The fact that I get to experience these newborn days with you is nothing short of amazing. I get to watch you sleep cradled in my arms, listen to you squawk like a pterodactyl, run my fingers over the teeny-tiny bouffant on the back of your head. You are newly born and you are here.

You are here.

Right here. With me.

After these long years, the treatments, the losses, you’ve finally come home.

I guess all I really want to say is thank you. Thank you for finding your way to us. Thank you for making our dreams come true. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but trust me when I say I will never, ever take you for granted. Not for a single second.

Life can be cruel sometimes. Your Uncle David was laid to rest on Saturday, far too soon. Sometimes I still cry because I ache for my own mom to hold me, one more time. And that’s not even getting into all the tragedies happening all over this world. There are some truly awful things out there.

But life can also be heartbreakingly beautiful.

You are proof of that.


48 thoughts on “Letter To My Littlest Love: Thank You

  1. This is so sweet my friend. My heart is full of joy as i watch you hold your little girl. Yet my heart is heavy as I know you have experienced so much loss over the years and so recently with the loss of your brother.
    I hope your future, with your beautiful family in your arms is full of happy days.

  2. This is soooo beautiful! Oh my gosh, and so is she! She is quite perfect!!! I am so happy for you! And right behind you with about 4 weeks to go! Can’t wait. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful post!

  3. Beautiful letter for a truly beautiful girl. I am beyond happy for you, you have been through so much and she really is a precious gift. xox

      1. I am still waiting for my donor to start her period. I will not lie I am not okay, I have been suffering with the worst anxiety since the weekend. Panic feelings in my chest, terrible fatigue, stomach pain etc. I am just trying to do what I normally do to cope but this time the physical feelings are far worse. I would understand if my mind was racing with stuff but it is not. I think I will be better when things start, I am sure it is the waiting plus a load of other stuff that is going on in our extended families *sigh*. Hows Mummyhood? xox

      2. I am so sorry you are struggling right now. I’m guessing you have some PTSD from how things played out last time. How could you not? I hope things go smoothly for you this time from beginning to end so you don’t have to worry about a thing! This is a new cycle and it will be different! Hang in there. Sending hugs.

      3. Thank you for your support. Yes I am sure it is the last cycle that is creating this. I have been honest with my husband about how I am feeling and he has been great. Sending hugs right back. xx

  4. I love this! Perfectly written acknowledging all the ups and downs that life has in store for each of us.

    I can see you enjoy every moment with your daughter and acknowledge the miracle she is. So, so special. All the best!

  5. Your story brought tears to my eyes, your little girl is just perfect. Thank you for sharing both the ups and downs of your journey, it is that much more real. But seriously your little girls is perfect, congratulations!!
    I balled my eyes out reading about your brother and your loss, my heart goes out to you and your family Xx

      1. I will always remember the people that I have been following. I feel connected to all of you through our struggles with infertilty. Hoping your girls are both happy and strong xx.

  6. I’ve been waiting so long to read this! Sending so much love and happiness to your family! And it’s ok to think it’s really, really hard sometimes, even through all the happiness. XO

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