Meet The Kids!

Today we transferred three day-3 embryos. I was really hoping for a day-5 transfer, but our little cellular bundles had other ideas. In order for my doctor to OK a day-5 transfer, I needed to have at least four 8-cell, grade-A embryos on day three. As of this morning we had two grade-A embryos, two grade-B embryos, and four others that were pretty fragmented or lagging behind.

I was semi-upset when I got the news that we’d be transferring today. In my head, getting to a day-5 transfer meant that my embryos were good quality. I felt misled by Dr. Braverman — after all, he promised me my embryos would be better quality this time around. What a cad! However, I just looked back at my day-3 report from IVF #1, and I had fewer decent embryos at that point than I did this morning, and we did a day-5 transfer anyway. So it seems that my new clinic is just more conservative with day 5 transfers. And you know what? I’m ok with that. I did not want to end up with nothing to transfer. No thanks.

The morning did not go smoothly. Tim wasn’t allowed into the OR area. The acupuncturist accidentally needled my left calf so hard that the entire muscle cramped up. The embryologist felt the need to tell me, multiple times, that just because two of my embryos were grade A did not mean that this cycle was going to work. Um, WTF? I finally said to her, “Look, I know that grade-A embryos guarantee nothing. This is my 3rd cycle. I’m just looking for some hope here.” Then the doctor was an hour late to my procedure. I had to pee so bad that my whole body was sweating. And when it was all over, the doc did not bother saying “goodbye” or “good luck” before he left the procedure room. Again, WTF?

Needless to say, I was on the edge of tears all morning. I tried listening to my meditations and all that biz, but none of it was really helping. The clinic is just awful, and unfortunately we have to use them because they are the only one in our area who works with outside doctors. The one bright spot was the nurse in the transfer room. She was awesome and totally kept the morning from careening off into The Bad Place Of No Return.

The actual transfer itself went off without a hitch — super fast, no weird catheter malfunctions, no embryos stuck in the tube, etc.. And now I have three embryos  back where they belong, which is really all that matters in the end — not what day they arrived there.

So without further ado, meet our three beautiful babes. We transferred both grade-As and 1 grade-B. The rest will continue to grow, and we’ll find out their fate on Wednesday. Say “Hi,” kids!

photo

When we picked Lettie up from the babysitter I showed her this picture.

“These are embryos,” I told her.

She looked mildly interested, so I asked, “Which one is your favorite?”

She immediately pointed to the chap on the bottom right.

Ooooh, I thought, maybe that one is The One.

Then she said, “Do we eat embryos?”

Aw, my little cannibal. Sprinkling embryos on her cereal.

Anyway, I’m feeling pretty good right now. Maybe not the zen-master self I was in my last post (ok, not at all), but still pretty decent. I carried the picture of our three babes with me everywhere today. I propped it on the couch and the embryos watched some football. They saw Pope Francis perform his historic mass on the Ben Franklin Parkway. I leaned them up against a trivet and there they stayed as we ate our dinner.

And really, I can’t help but think today is a fortuitous day. There’s a supermoon lunar eclipse tonight. The pope was cruising around my city, kissing babies and spreading his holiness everywhere. And, perhaps most unbelievable of all, the Eagles won.

Boom.

Signs, people, signs.

64 thoughts on “Meet The Kids!

  1. Today IS a fortuitous day!! I love your embies. They are BEAUTIFUL. The staff at your clinic however, I do not love. Those dudes can fucking bite me. Geez.

    All those little bumps first thing must have sent you into a spin (well they would have sent me there) so I’m glad you’ve somewhat climbed your way out of it – as best you can expect to given the circumstances. Fuck that nurse, I totally think one of your babies is in that batch. Hell maybe it is even grade B Bob and not the grade As. So what? She can shove her negativity. I’m glad you told her ‘ah it’s not my first rodeo bitch’. Honestly. SOME PEOPLE make-a me craaaaazy. Sending much love and thinking of you xxx

    1. Thanks, girl. I THOUGHT I was doing semi ok, but I just now had a huge ugly cry, sobbing do hard that I caused my uterus to cramp, probably crushing those embies. Oh well, tomorrow’s another day!

      1. I had an awful cold right after I had my transfer, and coughed & sneezed so much for days I was certain it would do damage BUT IT CLEARLY DIDN’T! Keep the faith my dear. Even if yours wavers, I’ll keep mine strong for you! Xx

  2. I love your writing so much. Sometimes I read blog entries like this and think ‘wow this funny and strong woman deserves fifty freaking kids if she wanted that many’ and then I get kind of frustrated that the world doesn’t work that way. Then I remember what a gift your beautiful Lettie is and how much you treasure her and I look at this picture of your little embryos and think that this may just be the exact plan that was meant to unfold. Put your hand on that belly and welcome your beautiful baby home and have faith that it will all be like it is supposed to.

    1. Thanks, MamaJ! I know you are right, that there is a plan here. I just hope that master plan is to bring me a baby in nine months. I will keep going if I have to, I will, but I sure hope I don’t have to this time. Please be here to stay embryo(s)!

  3. I’m sorry your day had such a rough start, but it sounds like you’ve got a good attitude about it all. I love that the embie on the upper right looks like a flower. My fingers are crossed for you!

  4. They DO look pretty tasty! Ha ha. I had a car accident the day before Jude was transferred as an embryo…so stress hormones worked for me!
    Got everything crossed for you! I am so ready to read hilarious pregnancy posts from you!

  5. Wtf doc ?!!! I hate that shit – leave your shitty attitudes at the door. Ugh. Great looking embies! Hehe cannibal cereal sprinkles!! Mmmmm. Sending you all the baby dust in the world and I’ll be envisioning a healthy, happy embryo getting all nice & cozy in a very strong & appropriate spot in your uterus!!! Grow baby grow! Xx

    1. Thank you! I am envisioning the same. Hopefully between you and I we got these embryos covered. 🙂 And dude, I know. That doctor and that office are the woooorst. Why are you even in this field if you can’t be nice? GET OUT.

    1. Thank you! i’ve been gazing at the embies love struck all week. I hope they stick around (at least one anyway). And I know, I can’t even deal with my doctor’s office. UGH. I was excited to read your good news this morning! Yay!

  6. OMG – three beauties – hang in there, they are now in the best place!!! I love that Lettie asked if you eat them, haha! The things kids say :-). They are all scumbags at the clinic for treating you that way. You have your beautiful babies now instead of them, so they can sod off and be horrible to someone else. Sending loads of happy growing vibes your way – hang in there little ones!!! X

  7. Look at those beauties! Angry about the clinic idiots, there is no excuse for that. I am glad the embies are all safely tucked up inside of you now and I am sending good vibes and sticky baby dust. xo

  8. Wow your clinic soubds shocking! Ive not yet caught up on your journey but im glad your still able to hold your head high and hope!! – hahaha little embryo sprinkles, oh the darnest things that make us laugh!! Grow little sprinkles grow! xx

  9. What beautiful little embryos! No eating, Cannibal Lettie! Congrats on the transfer and here’s hoping that one (or two!) of them sticks. Sending you lots of happy thoughts!

    1. Thank you! Fingers crossed for sticky embryo(s). I’ve been telling them that I don’t care how many of them decide to stay, as long as they arrive here safely. So now I’m leaving it up to them to sort out all the details. 🙂 I still have another week to go before testing. Another BS aspect of my clinic. 15 days before beta?! REALLY!?

  10. Yikes. That clinic needs a spanking and some lessons in bedside manner! Good for you for looking past that.

    What meds are you on – email if you prefer – per Braverman?

    I love Lettie’s response, your toting the babes around the house to hang with their family (Hi, Kids!) and the signs.

    Much love, hope and endurance. Most of all love.

    1. God, they really do need a spanking. To add insult to injury, they are making me wait 15 days post transfer for a beta. That is completely unnecessary when they could get reliable results at 11 days pt. I tried to appeal to nurse J. at Braverman’s being like, “isn’t 15 days too long to wait for further immune testing?!” But she was no help, boo. i’m too much of a chicken to pee on a stick. So now I wait…and wait…

      I am on:
      Lovenox twice a day (was on 40 mg, but Braverman decreased it to 30)
      Prednisone twice a day (forget the dosage)
      Calcium (and thanks to your post today, I now know why calcium is needed)
      Intralipids (don’t know the dosage, but it’s for 3 hours every 2 weeks)
      I was on Letrazole at one point, too
      Is that similar to your drug protocol when you transferred A?

      Thanks for the love. Sending it right back at you!

      1. Yes very similar except I was only once a day for lovenox because I didn’t have the APL issue you do and I was on neupogen for my defective system that lacks KIR cells and my lack of mismatched with LP.

        I’m surprised they wouldn’t let you do an earlier beta at Dr Bs office. He had nurse C send me a requisition for a beta at 5dp5dt after I had a positive per stick then. Not pushing you that way. Just sayin…

  11. I’m sorry your Doc and embryologist were the pits. Seriously, how hard is it to have a little compassion?! Don’t pick those jobs if you have none. Praying those little embabies stick around for the next 9 months!!!

    1. I agree, why are you in the field if you can’t be sensitive or at least cordial?! Go be a lawyer or something instead haha. Thank you for the good thoughts. Please, embryos, stick around!

  12. So sorry for your experience- that is not cool that they were saying those things. Stay positive and come on kiddos stick to your momma!!!

  13. Even though your clinic clearly sucked, it sounds like an amazing day! A transfer day simply is amazing because it’s the start of new life. And even though we have absolutely no idea what will happen in the next 2 weeks, 9 months or 22 years, we do know that on that day there is hope and love unlike any other. And that is worth celebrating (or eating in Lettie’s case).
    My friend, you are a a shining example of the courage it takes to get through RPL and IF. I am sending you lots of good vibes and hoping with everything I have in me.

  14. LOL! Oh man, I’m sorry the day wasn’t all unicorns and rainbows, but overall it sounds like things went well. Hi babies! Praying THE ONE is snuggling in well right now!

  15. Praying lots of sticky thoughts for you. I think I might know which clinic you’re talking about… if so then I’ve heard nothing but bad things about them and apparently it’s all truer than true… yikes! And now I feel like not so much of a weirdo for carrying my embie pic around too lol. Keep us posted!

    1. Hmmmm…I wonder if it’s the same one you’ve heard of. It’s not in the city (PITA to get to). I’ve also been to another crappy clinic in the city. There are a lot of crappy clinics here apparently! You are definitely at the best place in terms of awesome and compassionate people who also have their shit together. I wish I could’ve just stayed there, boo. Anyway, thank you for the sticky baby vibes! I hope they listen to you! 🙂

  16. I truly hope this is it for you! Everything of the very best for the two week wait. I think all three of them are gorgeous. Side note. I thought you were talking to the nanny about the embryos. I was like why is a grown woman asking if you eat embryos? I’m not very smart :).

    1. Hahaha, that’s so funny. If the babysitter had started talking about eating the embryos, I would have grabbed Lettie and Tim and run very far and very fast! Thank you for the good thoughts! I’m hoping with everything I have right now. Still another week until beta. Otherwise known as Eternity.

  17. Super annoying they made misleading statements AND left you with a crazy full bladder (that is soooo not fun) Your embryos are all darling! I love Lettie’s question about eating them. Way too cute!

  18. Just started reading your post, I am so sorry to hear about your clinic…that sounds like a horrible experience.
    On a lighter note, how exciting you had three beautiful embies transferred! Only good things can come from a Pope visit, a crazy cool moon and your favorite team winning. Hoping your 2ww flies by and you have a BFP soon. Sending lots of baby dust your way

  19. I can’t believe I’m just now seeing this! WordPress is doing some funky things with their reader. I’m so excited for you! And the cannibal thing made me chuckle. 🙂 Sending lots of happy baby thoughts your way!

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