Everything’s Coming Up Bogus

This bumper hates New Jersey.
This bumper has no love for New Jersey.

You guys, ugh. These last few days have been kind of crazy.

It started on Friday. Lettie was all set to go to the pumpkin patch—her first school trip—and I was also going as her chaperone. We were both so excited. I mean, I was talking this field trip up for weeks.

Anyway, the kids were being transported to the farm via school bus. The idea of a two-year-old on a school bus sketched me out, so I decided to drive her in my car just to be safe.

So, naturally, we got into a car accident on the way there.

Effing New Jersey, dude. Every time I’ve been in a car accident it’s happened in Jersey.

I was sitting there at the world’s most confusing light trying to figure out if I could turn when, BAM, some guy crashed into the back of my car.

I immediately started screaming and crying because I couldn’t believe I got into an accident with my two-year-old in the back. That one second between when I got hit and when I turned around and saw that Lettie was ok was the scariest second of my life.

Luckily, she was ok. I was ok, too, minus a sore neck. Also luckily, the guy that hit us was nice. He was older and must’ve been a dad. He kind of talked me down from the ledge.

He was like, “You’re baby is crying because you’re crying. Why you don’t go sit in the back with your baby?”

So I did. And when Lettie stopped crying he was all, “Ok, your baby is calm. Why don’t we drive to the gas station to get off the road?”

After we got home, I went to the ER to get my neck checked. The doc said it’s likely just muscle strain and sent me home with a prescription for muscle relaxers. Our car will be in the shop for a week or two, but at least we get to drive a sweet Nissan Ultima rental.

That accident freaked me out, though. That same night I woke up and couldn’t stop picturing a different outcome, one where I turned around and Lettie was not ok. This resulted in a nice little 3 a.m. sob fest. I don’t know how anyone loses a child and survives. I really don’t. Even just the thought of it makes me want to throw up.

Now fast-forward through a muscle-relaxer-induced haze to the events of yesterday. A bit of background: Tim is a teacher in a seriously bankrupt school district. They’ve been saying for months that teachers need to contribute to the district’s debt, which is the result of years of bad money management—absolutely nothing that the teachers had anything to do with. Yesterday the school district had a secret meeting and cancelled the teachers’ contract. Is this legal? I have no idea, but I’m guessing no. The Teacher Union is going to sue, but who knows how long that will take. One of the results of this contract cancellation: they increased our monthly insurance contribution…by $550 a month.

5-effing-50 a month!

We could switch to my plan but, haha, my plan has zero infertility coverage. Tim’s does (which I know is incredibly rare and we are incredibly grateful for it). So either we find out a way to come up with an extra $550 a month or we’re going to have to potentially stop fertility treatments–at least until we can save some major dough. I don’t think the changes effect this current IVF cycle, so we will proceed as planned for now. Please God let this one work.

You know, not to add any more stress to an already pressure-cooker situation or anything. Aren’t I supposed to be heading into IVF all stress-free?

Tomorrow I go in for my baseline scan and then I’ll hopefully start stims by the end of the week. Please keep your fingers crossed that all goes well and we can get started. Oh, and tomorrow I’m also getting my fourth root canal in as many months. Party time!

I don’t know, guys. I try to be positive on the ole blog. But right now? I’m just feeling pretty overwhelmed. If you have any faith and or hope to lend me, I could really use it right about now. I promise to repay you in spades.

Instead of a trip to the pumpkin patch, Lettie got to hang out at the gas station all morning. Wooooo!
Instead of a trip to the pumpkin patch, Lettie got to hang out at the gas station all morning. Wooooo!

11 thoughts on “Everything’s Coming Up Bogus

  1. I am so sorry about the rear-ender but so glad you were both okay. I am pretty sure unilateral cancellation of a contract is illegal even in the USA. Sorry to hear about that stress, too. On the hopefully good news front, I’m adding my thoughts and prayers for a great scan and a successful cycle. Good luck with the rest of this week!

    1. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers! Unfortunately today’s scan did not go well and I probably won’t be starting IVF this cycle. I’ll get the official word in a few hours and I’ll update on here. Infertility always has a sneaky trick up its sleeve!

      1. What? Oh no! I’m sorry. She is a cruel bedfellow, ’tis true. I hope the delay is not interminable. Of course it will feel that way no matter how long or short. Hugs, my friend!

      2. Nope, not interminable, at least I hope it doesn’t turn out that way. I might just have to take a cycle off. I’m feeling better about it today. It is what it is. But yesterday I was like WTF is this BS? Thanks for the hugs!

  2. Oh man what a truly crummy chain of events. Makes my day seem like roses and I had a meltdown 🙂 I think this whole infertility thing is really overwhelming all on its own but you just don’t realise it as much until all these other really challenging things turn up and woah you are pushed to the brink. You can and will make it through the other side. It will all work out one way or another. Life and time are wonderful things. I totally know what you mean about the whole losing a child thing. I just can’t even imagine it. I think I’d border on losing my mind or becoming an alcoholic or something like that just to cope. It would be a long dark road that one. Let’s hope it is something we never have to experience. Deep breathing and do what you can with the tools that you have. The rest will work itself out.

    1. Thank you for your support! I know, infertility can be so overwhelming. And it’s sneaky like you said. You’re cruising along just fine and God forbid something else happens (which it always does because that’s life), it’s like total meltdown/derailment. Ok, heading off to take some deep breaths now… 🙂

  3. Oh goodness what a terrible time you have had! 😦 Sending you hugs and calming thoughts. So glad you and Lettie are okay, I hope your neck recovers quick. Why does everything seem to happen at once and at the time when we need to reduce stress! Us ladies are made of tough stuff though.

    1. Thank you for the hugs! I am feeling much better about it all, but those few days were pretty rough. My neck does seem to be getting better. I am seeing a chiropractor, too, so hopefully that will speed things along. I agree, when it rains, it pours! How’s your husband feeling?

      1. I am sure the chiropractor will be a massive help. My husband is ok, no more headaches yay! They did find he has a vitamin d deficiency and I have read a lot to say vitamin d impacts on fertility!

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