Two Years Down, A Lifetime To Go

Yesterday was the two-year anniversary of my mom’s death. She is buried in a beautiful cemetery in Vermont. Surrounded by trees, her plot sits on a hill overlooking the river. I can’t imagine a more peaceful spot to rest.

We visited the grave at the end of our trip last week. We had just spent the week in the condo that my mom and dad had bought over 25 years ago. That place, more than anywhere else, is home for me. And all those memories, over all those years, include my mom. She is everywhere up there—in the secret corners of the closets, in the small wooden angel on the night stand, in the brook across the parking lot, in the black-eyed Susans that dot the hills, in the view from the top of the mountain, in the sound of the crickets and the strange birds that call to each other in the dark.

After feeling her around me for an entire week, visiting her grave felt like saying goodbye all over again. As we stood by the stone, Lettie said, “I wanna go grandma Peggy’s house, I wanna go Grandma Peggy’s house!” in the escalating way that only a two year old can pull off.

I then asked her if she wanted to tell Grandma Peggy she loved her. So she yelled, “I love you Grandma Peggy!” and looked around as if she was hoping that Grandma would somehow walk out of the trees and show herself.

She didn’t, of course. But maybe, just maybe, the sun shifted a little bit and the leaves lifted off their branches as if to say, Here, I am. Right here.

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8 thoughts on “Two Years Down, A Lifetime To Go

  1. Tearing up. What a wonderful picture of Lettie. It really seems like you guys have done a great job in passing on Peggy’s love to Lettie.

    1. We are trying! I can’t wait for the day when I can tell her stories about her grandma and she really gets them. Even though they never met, I do feel like they know each other.

  2. This is beautiful. The love you feel for your Mum shines through. It is so apparent you are keeping her memory very much alive for your daughter too (who is gorgeous by the way).

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