In a different world, one where there’s a happy ending to every story, a baby would have been born today. I’d be holding a floppy-headed blob in my arms. Lettie would be meeting her brother or sister for the first time. Tim would be thinking, Holy crap, we’re never going to sleep again.
We all know the story didn’t turn out that way. But I like to think that somewhere, in some alternate universe, it did. Somewhere there is a family of four just like ours. There is a little girl with curly hair and big blue eyes looking at a squirmy baby with a mixture sweetness and mischief. There’s a mom and a dad, falling head over heels for the precious, new life sleeping next to them.
Today would have been my due date. The days leading up to today have been harder than I expected. I don’t have much to say other than this: My heart is still broken. I wish more than anything that I could hold Gabriel today. Instead, there is a baby-shaped hole in our lives where he should be.