As June ambles into July, I think about counting your fingers and toes. I wonder what it will feel like to look into your eyes for the first time. Sometimes I find myself doodling your name on a piece of scrap paper, like you are my grade-school crush. Your name looks so pretty written out, with all of its loops and curves.
It occurred to me the other day that you are like the perfect blind date. I don’t know what you’ll look like or how you’ll act or if your nose will look funny, but I know I’ll love you. It’s like a blind date where I’m guaranteed to meet my soul mate. There’s that same feeling of anticipation that comes before a date. That same feeling of—holy crap—this could be the person that changes my life forever.
And you will change my life, of course. I just don’t know how yet. So until then I will continue to get ready for our “big date.” I’ll fix your room up just so. I’ll attend prenatal yoga so that I might have an easier time delivering you. I’ll take a birthing class and read books so that I know just what to do when I meet you. I’ll set up all of your baby gear so that you’ll be as comfortable as possible when you come home from the hospital.
Knowing all the while that when I do finally see your face, none of those things are going to matter. Because just like any first meeting with one’s soul mate, it’s going to be completely different and more wonderful than I could ever imagine.