I thought the worrying was supposed to let up after the “dangerous” first trimester. No? Ok, but then definitely after a healthy 20-week ultrasound. Still no? Well, for sure after that first baby kick.
If anything, I’m more anxious during the third trimester than anytime before. Why?
I have no idea.
If anyone wants to psychoanalyze that, take your best shot. It makes no sense to me. It’s the final stretch. Everything has been going smoothly up until this point. The chances of something bad happening are rare.
Yet. I worry. And worry.
And I am exhausted from all of the worrying.
The cycle of “what if” thinking is unrelenting. I’m flying across the country this week. What if something happens during the flight? I haven’t felt Baby move all day. What if something’s wrong? I’m having tons of Braxton Hicks contractions. What if I’m in premature labor? Oh my gosh, I’m so worried about everything. What if that hurts the baby? And so on and so on and so on.
I’d love some wine. Or a Xanax. But alas, it’s not in the cards right now. I’m trying to fight the anxiety by going to therapy and acupuncture and doing things that relax me, like reading and watching bad TV. But none of that seems to be working lately.
I guess the only thing to do is to power through and attempt to beat back the anxiety monster with a stick. Stay back, you nasty little thing!
On a much lighter and more awesome note, I had my first of two baby showers this weekend! Tim’s mom, Eileen, threw a shindig for Tim’s side of the family on Sunday. It was wonderful to be around so many people who were so excited about the Little Fish’s arrival. Eileen even made Baby a beautiful quilt! She also periodically sent pictures of the party to my mom so she could feel like she was there. How thoughtful is that? She’s pretty much the bees-knees, that Eileen. Check out some pics below:
And finally, here’s the requisite 30 week pic. Kind of hard to see that belly with all of the black.