One year ago today, I married this guy.
The person, not the llama. Although, that llama is pretty sweet.
A lot has happened in one year: no less than five dental surgeries (all mine), a cancer scare, fertility issues. The death of a childhood best friend. Life outside our home was rocky, but now that I’m looking back, I realize all of these things brought the two of us closer.
I’ll be honest here. When we married, I didn’t feel like Tim was my other half, my missing puzzle piece or any of those other cliché phrases. I didn’t even necessarily think of him as my best friend. I refused to use that title, on principle. I’ve had the same best friend for thirteen years, thank you very much, and I felt that calling Tim my best friend would in some way erase my past history. I worried it would negate the strong female friendships I had worked so hard to develop all of my life.
All I knew, for certain, was that I loved the crap out of Tim. And he loved the crap out of me. So we got hitched.
At the time, it felt like a huge leap of faith. And I suppose every marriage is. I remember telling my friends that I felt like I was jumping off a cliff. A cliff of awesomeness, but a cliff all the same. I had only known Tim for two and a half years before we tied the knot, so it’s not like we had years and years of shared history together. We had very little past experience to tell us how well we would weather future troubles.
But now, one year later, everything feels different. Obviously, I believed that Tim and I could make our marriage last a lifetime or I wouldn’t have entered into the commitment in the first place. But now I know it. I know we’re good for the long haul. I just do. I don’t know if it was all of the external stressors that did it, but I feel closer to Tim than I’d ever thought was possible. He is my partner in the truest sense of the word.
And dare I say it? He is my best friend.
So when I get all crazy in the head and start thinking things like, “I don’t have a baby and everyone else on the planet does, Aaaaaa!” I have to take a step back from the craziness and count my blessings.
I am incredibly blessed. Baby or no baby, I’m still Tanya. I’m still married to the best man I know. And I have a very wonderful life.